Trackless
by diaddicted
Summary: we're always given 2 choices. holding on to what we have or chasing for more. but now... the choice is yours.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1  
PUCK

After I helped Mr. Schue with his "Somewhere over the Rainbow" presentation that afternoon, I rushed to the parking lot, grabbed my car keys and started the engine. I didn't even say a word to Quinn after glee. I directly drove to the hospital.

Once I made it to the hospital, I parked my car and ran inside. I walked to the kid's department and looked at the nursery. Beth's missing, as I suspected. _Quinn signed that damn paper! _I said to myself. I hit the wall of the nursery and knocked my head against it. It hurts really, but I didn't care, my mind led me to something else; _Quinn, why are you doing this? I know you love her and I know it's hard for you to give her up. We can raise her together, be a family!_

That day, I spent my time looking for Beth. Though it sounded silly and stupid, I feel the urge to look for her. Quinn texted, my mom called, Santana was sexting but I just didn't feel like answering them. So that's exactly what I did. I ignored their texts and calls and continued looking for Beth.

I stopped at 7-eleven bought Nutella and coffee then stayed for a while. I jotted down every single place where Beth could probably be right now. But I don't even know their addresses. They must be someone who adopted Beth earlier this morning, and then I realized I didn't even know who adopted her.

_That's what I missed! I need to know who adopted her! The hospital should have some papers, documents or something._ It didn't take a long time driving from that 7-eleven to the hospital. I pushed everyone that was on my way, it was not on purpose, really.

"Dude, uhh I mean... You, nurse, you have my kid's adoption papers?" I didn't know what to say and I said everything that was on my mind. The nurse looked confused,

"I'm sorry sir, what's your child's name?" When the nurse asked, it was the moment I realized Beth's birth certificate wasn't complete. We have not written her name yet.

"Uhh... Her name's Beth, but it's not written on her birth certificate. We haven't had the time to... It was like..." – I stopped and felt so screwed. Then I continued – "just look for my name... Noah Puckerman. Uhhh... Or... Look for Quinn's document! Quinn Fabray!"

"Ok, just wait" I can tell the nurse was more than confused, but she tried to help. While she was searching, my phone vibrated. As I guessed, it was Quinn. Quinn knew something was going on.

"Oh, Quinn. I'm sorry" I murmured to myself and deleted the text she sent. I didn't realize the nurse was calling me until she shouted "Mr. Puckerman"

"Yes? You find anything?" I looked at the computer from the side and she pointed at a name: Shelby Corcoran. This name sounded familiar to my ears. I said thank you to the nurse and left.

"Puck!" I heard someone calling my name, and I recognize this voice. I turned my back and saw Quinn.

"Uhh, h-hey Quinn. What are you doing here?" Quinn walked to me and looked into my eyes. I knew Quinn knew something was going on.

"You didn't reply my texts, you rejected my phone calls, you didn't talk to me after school, I drove to your house and you're not there. Then I knew you're going here... What do you think you're doing?" I'm in trouble and I knew it for sure. Quinn talked way too fast, she was either angry or disappointed or sad or things like that. So I looked down and avoided eye contact with her.

"I'm just visiting my... My sister! She's sick. Umm, terrible cough." I lied and I think she knew I was lying.

"Look Puck. I know why you're here. You're looking for... Beth" she stopped for a second and looked at me with tear-filled eyes then continued, "I have to do that. I love Beth as much as you do, probably even more... But, she deserves better parents. Someone better than us, Puck." Her tears ran down her cheeks.

"Why? Why do you have to do this? We can keep her. Like I said, I'll get a job, we'll have a small house together, and we'll raise her together." I wiped her tears and smiled. I knew this is hard for her. It wasn't a decision where you won't regret once in a while. I knew she'll always think about Beth and she'll miss her a lot.

"I-I..." She didn't finish her sentence and the tears kept running down her face. It hurts to see Quinn like this. I pulled her close to me and hugged her,

"Everything's going to be ok Quinn. But even your mom offered you to keep her. Your mom wanted to help us, she'll help us raise Beth. We're gonna be a perfect family, Quinn" I looked down at Quinn who was still crying. I stroked her hair and gently turned her face to face me. She forced a smile and even though I knew she forced it, I was happy to see her smiling again.

"I-I'm sorry Puck. I should've not give Beth up. You're going to be a good dad. Probably the best dad a girl could ever have." She smiled a little lighter now.

"Well that was a compliment" I joked and Quinn laughed. _That was a relief_ I thought. I took Quinn's hand and dragged her to the coffee shop in the hospital. The chat went for a while and I realized it was almost 11. I offered Quinn to drive her home, so I drove her home.

"Thank you Puck." She said, and then she kissed my cheek. I said goodnight and waved goodbye. That night was probably the worst night in my life. I couldn't sleep and Beth was in my mind. I went to the kitchen and took myself a glass of water. But it's just not working, I couldn't calm myself down. So I turned the TV on and looked for something to watch. But not long after that, I heard my phone ringing. It was Quinn so I picked up the phone.

"Hello?" I said. I can tell that Quinn couldn't sleep too.

"Did I wake you up Puck?" She sighed and I could hear her heavy breaths. Of course she didn't and I knew she knew I was still awake.

"No, I can't sleep Quinn" I could hear she was starting to sob, but the sound of her sobbing was distinct, she pulled the phone away from her. Then I continued talking, "Quinn? Are you ok?" But she didn't answer. I guess she didn't hear me calling her cause the phone was too far from her. "QUINN. I'm gonna be down at your place in 10 minutes k?" I ended the call and looked for my car keys.

I forgot where I put my keys. I looked for it everywhere... Underneath my bed, inside my bag, in my bathroom. I even checked my sister's room to make sure she didn't take it. I sneaked into my mom's room but I didn't find it. So I went to living room and sat on the sofa. _Where could it be? _I thought. When I saw my hands, I realized I was holding the key. I felt so stupid, but that was not the right time to think about how stupid I was.

"FINALLY! FOUND IT!" I shouted then I drove to Quinn's. I rang the bell on Quinn's door and Quinn opened the door. She was still wearing her white and blue dress from this morning.

"P-Puck?" She was crying again. As soon as I pull myself to her, she pulled herself closer and hugged me tight. "Why didn't you tell me you're coming?" She said as she hugged me.

"Well, I did. When I heard you cry, but I assumed that you pulled the phone away from you and you couldn't hear me talk." I rubbed her back. "It's ok Quinn. We'll find Beth, we'll take her back. I'm sure." She looked at me and started talking.

"I-I... Puck, I regret giving Beth up. Every single day, I ran to women with their children and I can't help it. I kept thinking of Beth. I want her back, I love her so much, I miss her so much. I just want her to be with us now. I..." I put my finger against Quinn's lips and she stopped talking.

"I know. I know. I want her to be with us right now too." I put my hands on Quinn's shoulder and walked to her room with her. Quinn sat on her bed and patted the space beside her, so I sat there. I put my arm around her waist and talked to her.

"I want her back Puck." She laid her head on my chest and took my other hand. She started playing with my fingers. I looked at her and let out a silent laugh. She looked up to me while she was still playing with my fingers. "No Puck, I'm serious, I want her back."

"I wasn't laughing at that. I was laughing at you playing with my fingers, it's cute." I knew she wasn't in the mood for jokes and laughters. So I stopped laughing and hold her close. "I want her here right now as much as you Quinn, I really do." I looked at her and smiled. She wiped her tears and said looked at me with a forced smile. "Now, you need to sleep. I'll just go home. We have school tomorrow, glee club, assignments, tomorrow's gonna be a long day." Quinn puts her arm around me and hold me tight.

"Will you stay here with me?" She said and then she looked at me. I brushed her cheek and stayed there. She hold me tighter, "Will you?" she asked again. I smiled.

"Yes Quinn, I'm staying. But you have to sleep. You need some rest." I slipped my fingers through her hair. But I know Quinn cares more about Beth than herself, and she won't just sleep without any promises. And I couldn't be more precise.

"Only if you promise we'll look for Beth tomorrow." She took my hand again and slipped her fingers through mine. I answered her,

"Don't worry about that Quinn. I'll look for her tomorrow. I'll search for her everywhere I can. You have no idea how much I miss her." Quinn looked so serious and then I realized she looked serious because I said "I" not "we". "I just don't want you to get tired. I want you to just wait and I'll bring her home." She looked angry and then she sat straight.

"Puck, she's my kid. I want to look for her too! How can I be sure that you look for her instead of going to your Super Mario video game club or whatsoever! How can I be sure you're looking for her when you spend your Friday nights at 7-eleven and have that fight club stuffs! I want to go with you Puck! I NEED TO GO WITH YOU!" I knew Quinn didn't mean to. I knew she was just upset and she wanted to go look for Beth too so bad.

"Ok. We'll look for her together. We'll search for her everywhere. Everywhere we can go. I promise. Now sleep? It's late Quinn." I could tell that she had been thinking of Beth the whole day.

Quinn stood up and walked to her closet. She took her pajamas and went to the bathroom. I waited on her bed and the flashback came. The worst flashback, but probably it was also the best. The night I gave Quinn the wine cooler. I looked around and saw nothing changed since that day. Except for Beth's picture next to Quinn's bed which wasn't there before.

"I'm gonna find you. I'll look for you until I find you, I promise." I stared at Beth's picture. She looks exactly like Quinn, and no mohawk –though i think it'll be really cool if Beth has a mohawk– I heard the doorknob clicked and I put Beth's picture back.

Quinn was wearing her pink pajamas. She smelled like strawberries, it must've been her soap. She tucked herself in her bed and looked at me. I smiled and kissed her forehead. I turned off the light and she smiled.

"Goodnight Quinn" I whispered in her ears and she fell asleep a couple of minutes later, but I didn't. I was wide awake. I watched her sleep and everytime I looked at her face, Beth's face appeared in my mind. I rested my head against the wall and tried to sleep, but I just can't. I walked back and forth in her room, but still, there was no sign of me getting sleepy.

Suddenly, something popped up on my mind. SHELBY CORCORAN. If I can dig more informations about her, where she lives, I'll find out where Beth is. I'll get Beth back. But why did her name sound familiar? It's like we've met somewhere or is she a superstar? Cool! Then Beth's adopted by a superstar. _Concentrate Puck, concentrate _I told myself.

I opened Quinn's laptop and guessed her password. I tried my name but it didn't work. Finn, but it still didn't work. Her sister's name, her mom's name, her dad's name but none of them worked. Until I realized the most important person to her... Of course that person is Beth. So I tried typing Beth, and it worked. I opened google and searched for Shelby Corcoran.

As I searched, a name appeared on the screen: Jesse St. James. I stopped scrolling the page and paid attention to his name.

"WHAT THE HELL? JESSE ST. JAMES?"


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2  
Shelby

The last few days had been... Amazing! I can't even describe them with words. I ruined my chance with Rachel, and I didn't want to miss another chance. I never planned on taking Quinn's baby; I didn't even know she was giving Beth up until I came to the hospital. There I saw Quinn and Puck standing in front of the nursery... Watching Beth sleeps.

Beth is a pretty name and so is Beth. She looks like Quinn... So much. Quinn was making a mistake. She would regret giving Beth up, and so will Puck. She's the sweetest baby. She cried a lot, but that's what babies do. She wets her pants a lot, but that's what babies do. So I let that go.

That day, we had Vocal Adrenaline farewell party. Some kids were graduating. And Regionals 2010... That was the last time I coached them. That was the last hours of me being a part of Vocal Adrenaline. Jesse was graduating, and everyone will miss him. I took Beth with me and everyone knew she was Quinn's baby.

"Is that Quinn's baby?" Jesse asked while he paid attention to Beth's face. Clearly he knew that Beth was Quinn's. I looked at Beth who was sleeping that time and answered him,

"Yeah, she's Quinn's. She's pretty isn't she?" I smiled at Jesse. He was smiling, but I could see his eyes were full of doubt. "Is there anything wrong Jesse?" He frowned and looked at me.

"Umm.. Nothing. I just think it's weird and uhh... Yeah, she's pretty. She looks like Quinn." He smiled. But I could see he forced to smile. I knew but all I did was smile back at him.

The other members started to gather around me. They were all looking at Beth. They talked about Beth and Quinn though some didn't know Quinn's name. They didn't like Quinn because Quinn was from New Directions, but they did admit that Quinn is pretty.

"Shelby, can I hold her?" Jesse's voice was low and soft. I saw him and handed Beth to him. He smiled with his arms ready. He seemed so tender and it looked like he could handle Beth, so I left Beth with him for awhile as I went to take a drink.

I took a glass of water and sat in the corner of the auditorium looking at the kids. I smiled, _I'm gonna miss them so much _I thought. When I looked at them playing with Beth, I realized I'm going to lose a part of me... My kids. Then that brought me to Rachel. When Rachel asked me to move to McKinley I really considered moving. I wanted to, but I can't. I wanted to be with Rachel, pay the days I missed. But I have to move on and start a new life. Though Beth isn't my biological child and Rachel is... I have to get over Rachel.

I tried to connect the dots. If Rachel is my daughter and Quinn is her friend. Quinn's like my niece. That made Beth my granddaughter, somehow. I shook my head and tried to get back on what was happening about 16 years ago. As soon as I gave birth to Rachel, they took her away from me. I saw her head turned and she looked at me... And now Quinn who doesn't have to give Beth up gave her up? I was a fool back then. Why did I let those guys get me pregnant and gave my baby to them? My mind led deeper until Jesse nudged me,

"Shelby?" I realized Beth was crying. "Quinn's... Your baby's crying." I forced a quick laugh and took Beth from Jesse. I know Quinn is Beth's mother, but that didn't mean she's Beth's mom. Beth cried louder and I tried to calm her down. Jesse started making funny faces but it didn't work.

"Vocal Adrenaline's little girl is crying. Smile, sweetie." Someone called from behind Jesse, I didn't know who because I didn't see her. But Beth cried louder, I gave Beth her water bottle, but she continued to cry. Then Jesse looked at her and mentioned "New Direction" She started to calm down, but she was still crying. Then Jesse brushed her cheek and called her "Quinn's little girl" Suddenly, she stopped crying. We all looked at Beth, speechless. She seemed to know everything. Which includes; she's a part of New Direction and Quinn is her real mom.

"Does she know Quinn's her real mom?" Jesse asked, and when Jesse mentioned Quinn, Beth was looking around, as if she was searching for Quinn. "Are you looking for your m- I mean, for Quinn?" he smiled at Beth. Beth kept looking at Jesse like she was thinking of Jesse's words. So Jesse asked whether it was ok to take Beth for a quick walk with the other members. They –Jesse and Beth– seemed to be bonding really well.

I gave Beth to Jesse and told them to introduce Vocal Adrenaline to Beth. The kids laughed and I joined them laughing. They took Beth and walked in the corridors. I was alone in the auditorium, I thought about Rachel, Quinn, Beth and our connection a lot. My mind took me deeper and deeper. And everything was really complicated.

Time flew, it was getting late. I took my bag and went out to look for the kids. They were sitting in front the auditorium, laughing.

"Looks like you guys had fun" I said then smiled at them.

"Beth had fun too" Jesse took Beth's hand and used it to wave at me. I laughed and walked to them. Jesse looked like a father... How he cradled Beth and played with her. _I'm being silly. I think about random things too much lately _I said to myself. I walked to Jesse and he gave me Beth back.

"She sure had fun. I'm going home guys, take care. See you guys soon." I waved goodbye and walked towards the lobby, "Oh, and... I'm gonna miss you guys." I smiled. There was an awkward, silent pause for awhile. They whispered to each other then shouted,

"We're gonna miss you too Shelby!" they blew me a kiss and I smiled at them. They whispered once again and continued "We're gonna miss you too Beth!" I smiled. These kids.. They're talented, nice – though yes, sometimes they're heartless – but they're good kids, they gave their best efforts on every assignments I gave.

I put Beth on her baby seat, adjusted my own seat then put my seatbelt on. I took a quick look back at Carmel High and then drove straight home. Beth was quiet throughout the ride. And of course, she was sleeping. As soon as we arrived home, I parked my car in my garage and carried Beth inside.

The night was hot and humid but the sky was beautiful. It was filled with stars and constellations. But when I started to enjoy the view, Beth started to move around so I took her in. I changed Beth's clothes and laid her on her crib. Nights are usually the most tiring time. Beth wakes up, cries, asked for this and that. But those are the things I missed with Rachel. I've always wanted this.

Right after that, I took a shower, wore my bed robe and sat on my bed. I reached for the remote and turned the TV on. But I try to keep the volume low so it won't disturb Beth. You can barely hear the sound of the TV. Instead, I can hear the clock ticking, the house was so silent.

I wished Rachel was here. At least she would talk to me, break the silence. She would talk about her day, about glee club, boys, and her friends. Sure the room would be filled with her voice, but that would be ok. She has an amazing voice and every time she started talking, it sounded like she's about to sing. Sometimes, I wish Rachel's still a baby... A baby I can take care of, my own biological daughter. But the fact is... Rachel's in high school. And there is nothing I can to about it.

That made me sleepy. Or was it just the time for me to sleep? My eyes were getting heavy and I let myself sleep. I closed my eyes and emptied my mind. _Today had been a long day_ _but tomorrow's gonna be even longer. I need some sleep before tomorrow comes_ I thought, and that was my last thought of the day.

It was still dawn when I woke up from my dream. Quinn and Puck was in it. They came to my house when they found out I adopted Beth, but I made everything complicated. I didn't let them see Beth. I didn't even admit I adopted Beth. Instead, I asked them to go home and move on. I told them Beth was gone and I told them to forget about Beth. Asked them to forget that all Beth-related things happened. I was sweating when I woke up. Was I too tired from that dream? Or was I really tired hiding all these?

I tried to get back to sleep, but that popped on my mind for a few minutes... Probably for 15 minutes. Then I started to count sheeps, though I know it sounded silly, it worked. I fell asleep not long after that.

Another dream started during my second sleep that night. It wasn't about Quinn. It wasn't about Puck. It wasn't about Beth either. It was about Rachel. I dreamed that she was still a little baby, just like I remembered 16 years ago. She was dressed in white and circling her head was a little garland. But then suddenly everything faded and a loud bell started to ring.

The next thing I knew was I'm awake in my room with Beth crying. I got up from my bed and walked to Beth's crib. There she was crying harder and harder. I lifted her up and took her to the kitchen.

I had salad and juice for breakfast and I gave Beth her formula. She was quiet after that. While she was quiet, I gave her a bath and changed her clothes. After I was done with Beth, I put her to sleep and took a shower, changed my clothes and got ready; we planned to look for Beth's clothes that day.

I was ready, Beth was ready, so I drove to the mall. I listened to Vocal Adrenaline's recordings on the way. I smiled by myself listening to their voices and remembering things I had been through with them. Right turn, left turn, right turn, another right turn, left turn and we arrived. I found a spot for us to park and parked my car. Then I took Beth and went inside.

I was still looking for Beth's clothes in the kid's section – though it had been quite a long time – when I saw a man that looked familiar. I took a look at him again but I couldn't remember who he was, so I ignored him and continued shopping.

"Shelby?" I felt someone touched me from the back. I turned to face him – it was a guy – and I was shocked,

"Will?" – I stopped looking at the clothes and looked at Will – "W-what are you doing here?" Then I looked at Beth. He followed my eyes and looked at Beth too.

"Isn't that Quinn's..." – He stopped. Beth looked at him in silence. He looked confused and started talking again – "Why is she with you? I thought..." he stopped. But he didn't continue. He looked at me, then Beth, then me.

"I-I gotta go Will. See you later... Soon." I faked a smile for him and left. _That was close... Wait, no. I was caught! What if he tells Quinn? Or Puck?_ I was drowning in a sea of my own fears. I tried to get back to where I was that moment and told myself to drive back home. Cautioned myself that Beth was in the car and I didn't want anything happen to her.

I couldn't think straight when I drove back home, but I made it. We were back home... Safe and sound. I looked around to make sure Will wasn't following me. And there were no signs of him coming. So I went in my house and locked the doors. I sat on my couch while holding Beth. I thought about what happened.

_Why was I so stupid? I recognized that hair, but why didn't I remember it was Will's? What if he tells Quinn? Calm down, Shelby, calm down. _I was told myself. I inhaled then exhaled slowly. I spent my afternoon there. Thinking to myself, what would happen next, what could happen next, stuffs like that.

Then something broke the silence that was building up... A knock on the door. I could feel my heart beating faster. But I have to see who was knocking, so I put Beth on her crib and peeked through the peephole. I opened the door and began to talk nervously,

"h-hey Puck, Quinn... What are you guys doing here?" Did they know I adopted Beth? Did they know I'm keeping Beth? Should I let them in and take Beth away from me? Or should I ask them to leave and lie that Beth isn't here?


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3  
Quinn

I took a deep breath and hold Puck's hand. When I heard someone walked behind the door, I squeezed Puck's hand and he looked at me. I murmured a "sorry" and he smiled at me. Then the door opened and words come bursting out my mouth.

"Shelby, I want my kid back. I know she's inside and I know you're keeping her. I know I gave her up but that was a mistake and I don't want to make the same mistake as... I just want her back... I..." I stopped and looked at Shelby. Puck put his arm around my shoulder and looked at me.

"I-I don't understand what you're talking about" Shelby sounded throaty. I looked at Puck and I knew Puck was as upset as I am. His eyes were sharp and he tried to look inside the door but Shelby closed the door. He banged the wall and said,

"Shelby, I know that you have my kid. And I want her back. Just..." He stopped for awhile. I rubbed his back, trying to calm him down a little. He looked around then back at Shelby. "Just give Beth back to us." He finally made it simple. Shelby stayed silent. I stared at Puck and I knew Shelby was somehow scared of Puck. We were quiet for awhile then Shelby started talking,

"Look guys, I know how it feels like to lose your kid. But no, she's not with me." – her voice cracked – "I've been through this before. Seeing Rachel taken away from me was... Very hard. You guys had a choice, I didn't. And it was something I regret." I could see the pain in her eyes when she talked about Rachel, but she forced a smile. I knew she was sad but I need to know about Beth too. I don't want to push her too hard. I was afraid she will remember what happened 16 years ago. I knew how it hurts to see someone you love most taken away from you. But then Puck started talking,

"So that's why Jesse St. James was... You're coach of Vocal Adrenaline!" I thought Puck knew, but it turned out that he just figured that out. I looked at Puck, confused. He murmured something but I couldn't hear it. Shelby sighed,

"I was. Not anymore." I looked down and stared at the floor. I felt guilty I pushed Shelby to talk about things she love most... Which she lost. Suddenly Shelby laughed. "It's getting late, you guys should go home." She opened the door and went inside. As Puck started talking she waved goodbye.

"But what about..." Shelby closed the door when Puck wasn't even finish with his sentence. He clenched his fist and banged the door. Tears started to run down my cheek. Puck tried to calm himself and looked at me. He pulled me closer and hugged me. He knew it was time for him to be the mature one.

"It's ok, Quinn. Everything's gonna be ok." I knew he was not sure himself; his voice was full of doubts. For a split second, he reminded me of Finn. When Miss Sylvester knew I was pregnant, and she told the whole glee club. I cried and Finn was the one who calmed me down. He said the words Puck said.

I shook my head, trying to get rid of that thought. Puck looked at me and took my hand. He led me to the car. It was getting dark and the wind was blowing strong. I opened the door and waited for Puck to get in the car.

"Puck?" I started talking though I was still shaking. I stared at Puck and he turned his face to look at me.

"Yeah?" He answered while offering me some candies. I took one and held it in my palms. He looked so wise, so mature, so... Fatherly. When I saw that face, I instantly forced a smile.

"You promise we'll look for Beth until we find her right?" I questioned. He took my hand and kissed it. I smiled at him, still waiting for him to answer.

"I promise." He smiled. Then he turned the keys and drove back to my place. The car smelt like baby powder, or was it just me? But I let that pass and continued to talk with Puck. Then I felt my phone vibrating and I opened my bag. Puck looked at my phone looked at me. I checked my phone and saw Finn's text.

"Uhh.. It's Finn. He's asking where have we been. Cause we didn't come to school." – I told him cause I knew he was wondering – "Should I reply him?" Then I could see the frustration on his face. I knew how it feels like... To have to deal with so many things at the same time. When you feel like you can't handle any more stress at the moment. Puck remained quiet so I broke the silence, "I-I'll just not answer him. I think he can wait until tomorrow." I put my phone back into my bag. But as I put my phone back, Puck murmured,

"I know he's never gonna let you go. I know he's still in love with you." – I turned my face and faced him – "No, Quinn. Reply him. Tell him we're looking for Beth." He said with louder voice. I took my phone hesitantly and replied Finn... How Puck asked me to.

We were silent after I replied Finn's text. Puck played his CD. He turned the volume up and the music was loud. I think he didn't hear me talk when I asked him to lower the volume. Or he pretended that he didn't hear me. I could see that he was in a bad mood. Or probably mad at me. And I don't want to mess with him if he's in a bad mood. Not this time.

Puck pulled his car on my garage. He opened his door and I followed after him. My mom knew we had arrive back home and she opened the door. She smiled at us and went back inside. Puck slowed down and waited for me to walk beside him.

He took my hand and we walked to my room. He sat on my bed and held my hand while I was standing. He looked at me and smiled. No doubt, I smiled back at him. But my brain was still processing the situation. He was mad at me a second ago and now he's smiling at me?

"What is it Puck?" – I laughed. His face was like a little kid again. But all of a sudden, it hardened – "Puck?" – I chuckled – "Is everything ok?" He narrowed his eyes and looked at my hand. I followed his gaze and realized I was wearing a bracelet from Finn.

"What is that?" He groaned and stared at me. The bracelet was a gift from Finn and I wore it every day. Puck had no problem with it... Usually. But he paid attention to it now. It was just a simple bracelet. But it made me feel like Finn's with me.

"I-I'm sorry Puck. It's just... I can take it off if you want me too." He scoffed. I started to look serious and I tried to open my bracelet though I didn't want to. But while I tried to open my bracelet, Puck laughed. I stopped doing what I was doing and looked at him. He pulled me and I fell to my bed.

"Puck!" I shouted. But he ignored me and lied down next to me and pulled himself closer. "Puck!" I shouted again. He moved closer to me and stroked my hair. I suddenly remembered that night. The night I cheated on Finn. I sighed and looked at Puck. He slipped the lose strands of my hair behind my ears. "P-Puck?" He moved closer and kissed my cheek.

"I love you." He whispered in my ears and kissed me again... This time, on the lips. I kissed him back then pulled back. Beth came up to my mind again.

"Puck... You promise Beth will be with us again?" Probably I have asked this a hundred times now. But I just couldn't get it out of my mind. It feels like... Some part of me was missing. He rolled his eyes and laid his head on my pillow. I looked at him and then at Beth's picture next to my bed. He looked Beth's picture too and sighed.

"I miss her as much as you miss her, Quinn. I don't care what it takes me to find her, even if I have to risk my life, or lose it..." I laughed. He looked at me with a serious look. I stopped laughing and looked at him again.

"I-I'm sorry Puck... It's just... You sounded like Rachel. Like a drama queen. Finding Beth won't even risk your life." Puck came closer and talked with a low voice,

"Of course not… Or will it?" He smirks, "I was just trying to make you laugh. You were so... Gloomy." – He laughed kissed my forehead – "And I succeeded." I giggled... And I couldn't believe I giggled because of him. For a second I forgot how much I missed Beth. A year ago I wouldn't believe that being in the room with Puck would make me smile and happy.

But how could I not look gloomy? It was Beth. Every single time I thought of her and knew she was not with me, I felt like there's a hole in myself. I mean, I screwed up by letting Puck get me pregnant. Then I blamed myself for giving Beth up. It seemed like I've never made the right decisions. Every step I took causes me destruction in the end.

Sometimes, I wish that Beth was Finn's. We were perfect, we were in love. Then I was stupid enough to believe Puck. But I did stop believing "trust me" because of Puck. I was wrong when I lied to Finn. I should've told him the truth. When he gave his blanket from when he was a baby, looked for a job to pay for the doctor bills... I've missed him a lot.

Finn came up with the name Drizzle, and Puck came up with the name Jack Daniels, Jackie Daniels, and then Beth. Finn was busy with that stupid Skinemax game that he didn't get much sleep and Puck was busy with his stupid theory of how Super Mario Bros changed the civilizations. While Finn was probably unsure of his love, Puck was probably making out with every girl, or the hot ones he would say... To narrow it down, Santana.

Puck was talking, but I didn't listen. I was thinking of so many things at once. But I was thinking about Beth and Finn most. I stared at my make up table blankly. He continued talking and I continued thinking about... Everything. When a small smile formed at the edge of my lips, he realized I wasn't listening to him.

"Quinn?" He nudged me and stood up. "So, yes?" He was definitely asking me something before. I didn't know what his question but I smiled and answered yes. He unbuttoned his shirt and threw his shirt to my couch. I narrowed my eyes when he jumped back to my bed. He looked at my white dress I was wearing.

He started kissing my neck and I moved a little, wishing he would stop, but he didn't. I shrugged and moved to the very edge of my bed, living some space between us. He moved closer and kissed me while he was talking,

"Quinn, you look so pretty tonight." I looked at him and smiled, wondering whether he was drunk or something. But he had been with me all day, and I didn't see him drinking. So he was definitely sober that time. Or was he being the same old Puck again? The Puck who played and made out with every girls. The badass Puck?

I stayed where I was, suddenly reminded of that day. _Is he trying to... No, Quinn._ I asked and then answered myself. He continued kissing me but I kept pulling back. He looked at me, confused. I was confused, he was confused. I guess we were both confused. But then he started kissing me again. I pulled back and stood up.

"What do you think you're doing, Puck?" My tone was raising and I knew he thought I was angry. Surprisingly, I was not really angry. I was confused. I was just being… Me? Puck looked down, and then at me and back down. He smirked and stood up. He walked my way and smiled. He tried to take my cardigan off but I pulled it back. "Stop it, Puck! I'm not going to believe another 'trust me' and I'm not going to make another mistake."

He stopped and stood in silence. Then he started kissing me again, I smiled and kissed him back. I knew he understood. Or I thought he did. But I was wrong. He put his arms around my waist and pulled our body closer. He held me tight and collapsed on my bed. I pulled away from him and he let me. But his hand was travelling up my thigh. I pushed his hand away and stared at him, I tried to give the most serious look I got.

He sighed and took his whispered a soft 'wait'. He went outside and I waited in my room. I didn't know what he was doing, but I could hear him talking with my mom. He was back few minutes later... With a pack of wine coolers. I sighed and laid my head on my pillow.

"Puck, you know I'm not good with wine coolers." – He smiled and opened one. Then he took a sip and offered me to take a sip too – "I guess I don't want to make the same mistake again, Puck" I took the wine cooler and put it on top of my lamp table, without tasting it this time. I smiled at him and shook my head.

"C'mon, Quinn. I can guarantee you'll not get drunk this time." It took me some time to translate what he was saying. And I concluded that "guarantee" was another word for "trust me" so I tried to change the topic... Or end the conversation.

"I think you should go home, Puck. I'll see you at school tomorrow, then we'll look for Beth." I smiled and gave him his shirt. He took his shirt and put it on. I kissed his cheek and took his hand. He let me drag him to his car and gave me a quick kiss. I knew this was the right decision. I didn't know if I'll go with him tomorrow when he acted like the old him again.

"You need to know that I still love you, Quinn." He said. I was not sure if he loves me, but the biggest doubt at that moment was; do I really love him?

I didn't let that thought distract me. I smiled at him as he opened his car door. He went in his car and smiled at me. I waved him goodbye and he started driving. I went inside and locked the door. When I turned my body, I saw my mom standing with a worried face.

"Quinnie, you didn't... Puck? Wine coolers?" What was my mom asking? Of course not. Not again, and not Puck. I shook my head and walked to my room. My mom followed behind me. I sat on my bed, taking my cardigan off. She sat beside me and stroked my hair. I smiled and took Beth's picture.

"I miss you" I whispered. My mom rubbed my shoulders and smiled. I felt my eyes filling up and finally a tear dropped. I wiped my tear so my mom wouldn't notice. But of course she noticed, she knows me well and she would know it when I try to hide something from her. She gently turned my face to face her. Her smile started to fade and I knew she always wanted me to keep Beth. I never listened to her. What was I thinking before?

I looked at my mom and forced a smile. She looked into my eyes and knew everything was not ok. She let out a small laugh and I did too. She hugged me and told me Beth's going be with us again. My mom had been right most of the time, so I believed her this time. I started to sob and she rubbed my back.

"It's better for you to sleep now, Quinnie. Tomorrow's the last day of school for this week and you're going to look for Beth again after school. It's going to be a long day." She smiled again. I nodded and went to take a shower. As I washed my hair, thoughts of Beth kept popping in my mind. I turned the shower off when I was finished and took my towel. I wore my pajamas and dried my hair.

I switched the light off then crawled into my bed and pulled the covers. I reached for my iPod on top of my lamp table and turned it on. I played Lean on Me and remembered how the glee club sang for me and Finn when we faced this whole thing. Suddenly, a smile formed on the edge of my lips. Then the song ended and changed to Beth. I sighed but let that drift me to sleep. Tomorrow's going to be another long day.


End file.
